James Lie: October 7 -- Attachment and Adopting

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

October 7 -- Attachment and Adopting

Dear Friends and Families,

We are leaving in a few short days and I wanted to share you with some important information on adoption and attachment. We are also including some links to some reading that you can do while we are on our journey. It may explain why we might be acting stranger than usual when we return. And it may not be just jet lag or James induced sleep deprivation.

We’ll start with a scenario you might just experience. You call us, we don’t pick up and we don’t call back soon. Or we do, to tell you we are ok, but we don’t make any plans to visit. We act a little standoffish.

What’s going on? We might just be following the advice of scores of adoptive parents, doctors and therapists. We may just be getting to know our new son and younger brother for Joseph, James.

We still love you all very much. James will need time to get to know his Mommy, Daddy and big brother and we need to give him that time. James does not know us at all. He only knows his caretakers from his orphanage. We are strangers – we look strange, sound strange and even smell strange. Time is needed for us to start the process of bonding.

Here are some great articles I found that do explain the process:

http://attachment.adoption.com/bonding/what-is-attachment-2.html
http://attachment.adoption.com/bonding/nurturing-activities.html
http://www.a4everfamily.org/index.php
http://www.a4everfamily.org/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=57&Itemid=78
http://www.a4everfamily.org/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=56&Itemid=78

So if we act oddly or demand that one of us REALLY must change his poopy diaper even though you are offering – you’ll know why.

Now get reading!

Thanks,
Love, Kelly and Joe

1 comment:

WriterChickNj said...: You are correct with all this. I had to brush up on attachment issues when I became a foster mom. It will take some time for him (and you) to adjust, but it will be okay. And stop worrying about people wondering why you won't be calling. Worry about your family. I am lucky if I talk to anyone on the phone anymore. Mostly, Nicholas hangs on my legs and yells "No Talk!!" when I try to talk on the phone.; October 7, 2008 at 3:49 PM

Post a Comment

About Chengdu

Chengdu is the capital of Sichuan Province, the most populous province in China (map). Sichuan means “Four Rivers,” referring to four of the more than 80 mighty rivers spilling across the province. There is much diversity in the Sichuan landscape - the east supports one of the densest rural populations in the world, the west rises in giant steps to the Tibetan plateau where green tea shifts to the Tibetan staple po cha (butter tea) and Confucianism shifts to Buddhism. In fact, Chengdu provides the main inland city access to Tibet.The remote mountains of Sichuan, bordering Gansu and Qinghai provinces, are the natural habitat of the giant panda, the shy animal that has become synonymous with China. Visitors gravitate to the Panda Breeding and Research Center located in Chengdu, which houses the world's only giant panda breeding and research center.

During the Eastern Han Dynasty (35-330 AD), the imperial court appointed an official to supervise the fast-growing brocade industry in Chengdu, which was then known as Jincheng, or Brocade Town. When it was discovered that the brocade turned brighter and fresher after being washed in a nearby river, the river was given the name Jin Jiang, or Brocade River.

Since ancient times, Chengu, which is surrounded by mountains in all directions, has tried to reach out to the outside world. As early as the third century, Chengdu had already opened the famous Southern Silk Road that started in the city and continued to the ocean. The earliest paper currency, Jiaozi (not the dumpling!), was first printed in Chengdu.

During the Five Dynasties era (907-960 A. D.), Chengdu was for a time the capital of China, and hibiscus was planted all along the city wall. Because of this, Chengdu became known as the City of Furong or Hibiscus. Today, flowers and trees grace the wide streets and the city’s many parks.
Agriculture and light industry are the mainstays of the region and brocade is still manufactured along with other textiles and handicrafts.

An old adage says China is the place for food, but Sichuan is the place for flavor. In Chengdu, visits can enjoy delectable Sichuan (often spelled Szechuan in the west) cuisine, the hot and spicy food known all over the world. Common preparation techniques in Szechuan cuisine include stir frying, steaming and braising, but a complete list would include more than 20 distinct techniques.

Sichuan pepper and chili pepper are some of the ingredients in two of the region’s signature dishes: MaPo DoFu, which is a spicy tofu with a meat sauce; and Gong Bao JiDing (known in the west as Kung Pao chicken) named after a Qing dynasty government official named Ding Baozhen who is said to have particularly enjoyed it. There are many conflicting stories about why Ding Baozhen favored the dish, including one that claims that a chef invented the finely chopped dish because Baozhen had bad teeth.

In Chengdu, chili is as common at mealtime as rice is across the rest of China. So is Sichuan pepper, known in Chinese as huājiāo (花椒; literally "flower pepper.”) Despite its name, Sichuan pepper is not related to black pepper or chili peppers; it is the outer pod of the tiny fruit of a number of species in the genus Zanthoxylum.

Although many dishes live up to their spicy reputation, Sichuan cuisine also includes recipes that use little or no hot spices, including Tea Smoked Duck.

Despite its fiery cuisine, Sichuan is one of the most laid-back regions of China, where entire village populations lull about in teahouses, playing mahjong and gossiping. There is a saying that holds that the tea houses of Sichuan rank first in the world, while those in Chengdu rank first in Sichuan. Even in busy Chengdu, locals find time to shop, cook, eat, and spend hours relaxing and socializing in teahouses.

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

October 7 -- Attachment and Adopting

1 comment:

About Me

About Chengdu

Blog Archive